I don't advise a haircut, man.
by Withnail and I

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Related topics: Funny

Don't threaten me with a dead fish.
- the movie Withnail & I (1987)

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live
that his happiness shall depend
as little as possible on external things.
- Epictetus

Man plans, God laughs
- Yiddish Proverb

A man can do only what he can do.
But if he does that each day he can sleep at night
and do it again the next day.
- Albert Schweitzer

Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head,
and knows not that it brings abundance
to drive away the hunger.
- Saint Basil

A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences,
in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures -
and that is the basis of all human morality.
- John F. Kennedy

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

Before you criticize a man,
walk a mile in his shoes.
- Anonymous

There is nothing with which every man is so afraid
as getting to know how enormously much
he is capable of doing and becoming.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth,
and if a man does not know what a thing is,
it is at least an increase in knowledge
if he knows what it is not.
- Carl Jung

Only a man's character is the real criterion of worth.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Mystery creates wonder, and wonder is the basis
of man's desire to understand.
- Neil Armstrong

A man can succeed at almost anything
for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.
- Charles M. Schwab

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready
for his opportunity when it comes.
- Benjamin Disraeli

The value of a man should be seen in what he gives
and not in what he is able to receive.
- Albert Einstein

As long as a man stands in his own way,
everything seems to be in his way.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any man who reads too much
and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted,
but beholds it as something
unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
- Albert Schweitzer

Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must, however, acknowledge, as it seems to me,
that man with all his noble qualities...
still bears in his bodily frame
the indelible stamp of his lowly origin.
- Charles Darwin

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb

If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every man I meet is in some way my superior.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

If a man can... make a better mousetrap,
the world will make a beaten path to his door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Try not to become a man of success,
but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein

The gem cannot be polished without friction,
nor man perfected without trials.
- Confucius

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

How could man rejoice in victory
and delight in the slaughter of men?
- Lao Tzu

Great and good are seldom the same man.
- Winston Churchill

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are other measures of self-respect for a man,
than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is the babe young? When I behold it,
it seems more venerable than the oldest man.
- Henry David Thoreau

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

You cannot build character and courage by
taking away a man's initiative and independence.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland

The more a man can forget, the greater the number
of metamorphoses which his life can undergo,
the more he can remember, the more divine his life becomes.
- Soren Kierkegaard

If a man does his best, what else is there?
- George S. Patton

Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb

A man who as a physical being
is always turned toward the outside,
thinking that his happiness lies outside him,
finally turns inward and
discovers that the source is within him.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Man must evolve for all human conflict,
a method which rejects
revenge, aggression and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is no limit to what a man can do
or where he can go,
if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
- Robert Woodruff

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
- Oscar Wilde

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie