A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
by Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Related topics: Funny Friendship Relationship

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

Please sign-up for my Free Daily Inspirational Quotes and Insights Email on the form below.

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb

A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is a friend? I will tell you ...
it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane

The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb

A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

There is danger that we lose sight of
what our friend is absolutely,
while considering what she is to us alone.
- Henry David Thoreau

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin

Please sign up on the form below to receive my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie