One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
by George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Funny Friendship Relationship

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong

Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.
- Anais Nin

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Individually, we are one drop.
Together, we are an ocean.
- Ryunosuke Satoro

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.
- Khalil Gibran

Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

How is it that one rails against that
which is nearly a certainty?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

There is only one happiness in life: to love and to be loved.
- George Sand

None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude.
Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves,
and spend without fear of bankruptcy.
- Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

About most subjects, there is not "The Truth;"
there is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.
- Anonymous (attributed to Bill Wilson, Brandi Snyder and others)

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing,
and that is that I know nothing.
- Socrates

We have two ears and one mouth so that
we can listen twice as much as we speak.
- Epictetus

Whatever you are, be a good one.
- Abraham Lincoln

Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal,
and not in reaching it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
- Marilyn vos Savant

People love chopping wood.
In this activity one immediately sees results.
- Albert Einstein

One's philosophy is not best expressed in words;
it is expressed in the choices one makes...
and the choices we make
are ultimately our responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie