A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
by Woody Allen

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Related topics: Funny Cynical Sad Feeling-Down Romantic Love

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous

Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray

Whenever you're in conflict with someone,
there is one factor that can make the difference
between damaging your relationship and deepening it.
That factor is attitude.
- William James

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
together forever and never apart,
maybe in distance, but never in heart.
- Anonymous

A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

There comes that mysterious meeting in life
when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be,
igniting the circuits of our highest potential.
- Rusty Berkus

The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.
- Anonymous (attributed to Bill Wilson, Brandi Snyder and others)

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling

No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny
without leaving some mark on it forever.
- Francois Muriac

Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once the sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship.
- Margaret Mead

Our relationships - love and friendship -
are at the core of the meaning of our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie