Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
by George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

We can never be the better for our religion
if our neighbor is the worse for it.
- Anonymous

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)

Re-examine all that you have been told...
dismiss that which insults your soul.
- Walt Whitman

Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth

I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When an inner situation is not made conscious,
it appears outside as fate.
- Carl Jung

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin

I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison

The mystery of the beginning
of all things is insoluble by us;
and I for one, must be content to remain an agnostic.
- Charles Darwin

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

The function of prayer is not to influence God,
but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa

What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

When I do good, I feel good.
When I do bad, I feel bad.
That's my religion.
- Abraham Lincoln

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham

If you have a particular faith or religion,
that is good. But you can survive without it.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A willingness to laugh at itself is what distinguishes
a compassionate religion from a cult.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

You hold onto religion, you know,
rules, regulations, traditions.
I think what God is interested in
is people's hearts, and that's hard enough.
- Bono

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

When we blindly adopt a religion,
a political system, a literary dogma,
we become automatons. We cease to grow.
- Anais Nin

I love you when you bow in your mosque,
kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
For you and I are sons of one religion,
and it is the Spirit.
- Khalil Gibran

Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
- The Buddha

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

We can live without religion and meditation,
but we cannot survive without human affection.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie