I don't like to think of laws
by George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Cute Whimsey

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb

Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

Life is like a game of cards.
The hand you are dealt is determinism;
the way you play it is free will.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

"Be like me" is not a Golden Rule.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother

A closed mind is like a closed book;
just a block of wood.
- Chinese proverb

Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

The truth is like a scalpel. The truth is painful.
- don Miguel Ruiz

This time, like all times, is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

Love is like a beautiful flower
which I may not touch,
but whose fragrance makes the garden
a place of delight just the same.
- Helen Keller

We cling to our own point of view,
as though everything depended on it.
Yet our opinions have no permanence;
like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.
- Zhuangzi

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

Life is like a box of chocolates.
- Forrest Gump

An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
- The Buddha

Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed,
easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
- Proverb

A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb

Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
- Khalil Gibran

To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi

Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes

The unknown is like the darkness of a cave -
it can be illuminated by the brief light
of one adventurer's small candle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you see something done,
know that you intended it.
If you don't like what you see,
then deeply examine your intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
- Thomas Jefferson

Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison

Love is like the truth,
sometimes it prevails,
sometimes it hurts.
- Victor M. Garcia Jr.

What if we just acted like everything was easy?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Act the way you'd like to be
and soon you'll be the way you act.
- Leonard Cohen

Know that time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
You give your own meaning to time, as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie