If a man smiles all the time,
by George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

Mystery creates wonder, and wonder is the basis
of man's desire to understand.
- Neil Armstrong

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.
- George Savile

Resistance to the organized mass can be effected only
by the man who is as well organized
in his individuality as the mass itself.
- Carl Jung

There is nothing with which every man is so afraid
as getting to know how enormously much
he is capable of doing and becoming.
- Soren Kierkegaard

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau

The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson

No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

Before you criticize a man,
walk a mile in his shoes.
- Anonymous

All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy.
What right have we then to depreciate imagination.
- Carl Jung

Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus

Only a man's character is the real criterion of worth.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

How could man rejoice in victory
and delight in the slaughter of men?
- Lao Tzu

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein

A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

A great man is always willing to be little.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a man does his best, what else is there?
- George S. Patton

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

A man in debt is so far a slave.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man I meet is in some way my superior.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If thou wilt make a man happy,
add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.
- Epicurus

The man who has won millions at the cost of his conscience is a failure.
- B. C. Forbes

One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)

A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Is the babe young? When I behold it,
it seems more venerable than the oldest man.
- Henry David Thoreau

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb

Man must evolve for all human conflict,
a method which rejects
revenge, aggression and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Science gives man knowledge, which is power;
religion gives man wisdom, which is control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie