Think of how stupid the average person is,
by George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Funny

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.
- Ram Dass

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

What we think, we become.
- The Buddha

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
if in terms of ten years, plant trees;
if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.
- Confucius

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

I think therefore I am.
- Rene Descartes

The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly.
The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Happiness is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in harmony.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

What you think of me is none of my business.
- Terry Cole-Whittaker

Do not think that love,
in order to be genuine,
has to be extraordinary.
What we need is to love without getting tired.
- Mother Teresa

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank

They can because they think they can.
- Virgil

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are
and then live with that decision.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie